I've been in desperate need of a haircut for a while now. So I asked around the office to see if there was anyone really good near my new offices. I got a recommendation that seemed really good and reasonably priced, but I was warned 'he's very very opinionated.' Given my complete and utter lack of fashion and style, I don't mind having a bossy stylist. Yesterday I trekked down to the salon and had to fill out a form detailing my usual 'routine' with my hair. The form was turned into the stylist whom I shall call 'S.' I should preface this with, he did a great job and I'll definitely be going back to him. In fact, I think he's the best I've been to since I've been in DC. The conversation with S though was hysterical, it went like this:
S: 'I see you do not do anything to style your hair.'
Me: 'Yes, that's right-- I'm fairly lazy.'
S: 'So you only blow dry?'
Me: 'No."
S: 'No??? NO BLOW DRY?!?!?! You don't do anything?'
Me: 'Ummm I brush it and wash and condition and... '
S: 'Well, I will tell you my opinion'
Me: 'Okay, pray tell...'
S: 'Your hair needs to be longer, it has nice wave. You need to grow it. I will fix the layers in the mean time.' (I'll spare you the details of his long drawn out elaborate plan for the future of my hair)
Me: "I will dedicate all of my free time to growing my hair."
S: "Good." (not even the hint of a smile--that's a funny joke right???)
(then he starts cutting my hair-- DRY! No wash, no rinse, NADA!)
Me: ''Do you always cut hair dry? I've never had my hair cut when it's dry. "
S: "No. Never"
Me: "umm.... what?"
S: "If you will not bother to dry your hair why should I? You will not do it anyway."
Me: "ummm... what?"
S: "Well, I need to see how it is when it is air dryed. I need to see growth patterns, since you will not blow dry it."
Me: "Okay, fair enough."
S: "You need to grow your hair."
Me: "Yes, I got that, I'm busy right now trying to grow it faster than you can cut it."
S: (frowns) "You could be sexy if you only blow dried."
M: (confused) "I don't think the blow dryer is my problem."
S: "If your hair was longer it would look like the hair of a Victoria's Secret model."
Me: "Pity I don't have the body to match."
S: (not even a glimmer of a smile!) "You will. I will cut good layers"
I hope he meant in my hair and not my hips!!!!
4 comments:
OMG, that is too funny!!!! Wow, DC stylists!
ok, that's hilarious!! is this guy european?? this is how the french cafeteria ladies talked about (cafeteria) food. just think, melanie, you could be sexy if you would only blow dry your hair!
I am almost falling off my chair reading this...did he realy say these things!! Too funny...
btw...not sure if you remember me but I am a friend of Pete's and we spent a day hanging out many years ago before you guys were married when you were out here travelling around for some research. I still have a picture of you both standing out the front of my old house on my wall. Is that weird??
Hahahaha!
That is very very funny!
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