Among some of my close friends I've become notorious for my ridiculous ideas. For instance, I once changed all the electronics in my house to French thinking that this would help my French language skills. It didn't work. And because I don't have a strong French electronics vocabulary, it took me forever to figure out how to reset it to English! Additionally, Peter really didn't like watching movies in French. He was particularly annoyed when I surprised him by switching his google to Spanish. Then there was the time Alina and I thought it would be a good idea to transport 7 individual containers (no lids, no trays, lots of air conditioning) of ice cream across town from our favorite ice cream place in July. Note to readers: ice cream does not travel well!!!
Well I had another one of these ingenious ideas this week. I bought myself a pull up bar. BARGAIN! Only $20 and it just sticks right in the door frame so I can do pull ups and leg lifts and get a rock hard bod for tri season. Smart idea, right? WRONG! My pull up bar was quickly reduced to nothing more than a dangle bar. It's a lot harder doing leg lifts then I remember!?!? And is there such a thing as a pull up crunches? It's a tough realization to discover I'm a dangling blob rather than the pull up leg lift machine I pictured in my mind.
Anyhow after spending an inordinate amount of time sadly dangling in my doorway, and whining about it to Alina. She suggested I lower the bar to do dips and modified pull ups. Clever idea right? She has a PhD she's clearly quite bright. WRONG AGAIN! I pulled my back doing the stupid modified pull ups. I flew off the bar and hurt myself doing another exercises!?!?! That bar is pretty much a death trap. Mind you, this whole time Peter keeps saying 'just take it down before you really hurt yourself by flying off the bar, over the stairway railing, and down the stairs.'
Well, the pièce de résistance came a few nights ago. P is out of town and the recent storms have knocked out my home phone line so I use only my cell. So it's late at night and being the diligent student that I am I'm busily working away on my final. I'm in the room with the dangle bar in the doorway and my cell phone starts to ring. I remember it is in the study so I quickly finish my sentence and leap up to answer what I assume is my husbands call. Being the dedicated and devoted wife that I am, I sprint out of the room to answer his call and WHAM right into the *#&@(#&*@ dangle bar!!! Which I stupidly set at about nose height!!! I am knocked backward onto the floor from the force! My nose has taken the brunt of the force, and it's not pretty!
I didn't go to the doctor but I'm fairly confident my nose is hairline fractured at the very least! It hurts ALL the time, is red and swollen, and while I don't have black eyes they do look a little funny. I tried to cover up the red line that I now have imprinted across my nose with make up but dabbing at my nose with make up was just too painful. It has prompted people at work to ask if something happened to my nose. Unfortunately, P is out of town so I can't just say he decked me :) which is really probably better (and more believable) then my idiotic tale. My boss was so befuddled by the whole thing he kept asking... 'but WHY did you think the pull up bar would be a good idea?' Excellent question. Sadly, I don't have a good answer.
Well I had another one of these ingenious ideas this week. I bought myself a pull up bar. BARGAIN! Only $20 and it just sticks right in the door frame so I can do pull ups and leg lifts and get a rock hard bod for tri season. Smart idea, right? WRONG! My pull up bar was quickly reduced to nothing more than a dangle bar. It's a lot harder doing leg lifts then I remember!?!? And is there such a thing as a pull up crunches? It's a tough realization to discover I'm a dangling blob rather than the pull up leg lift machine I pictured in my mind.
Anyhow after spending an inordinate amount of time sadly dangling in my doorway, and whining about it to Alina. She suggested I lower the bar to do dips and modified pull ups. Clever idea right? She has a PhD she's clearly quite bright. WRONG AGAIN! I pulled my back doing the stupid modified pull ups. I flew off the bar and hurt myself doing another exercises!?!?! That bar is pretty much a death trap. Mind you, this whole time Peter keeps saying 'just take it down before you really hurt yourself by flying off the bar, over the stairway railing, and down the stairs.'
Well, the pièce de résistance came a few nights ago. P is out of town and the recent storms have knocked out my home phone line so I use only my cell. So it's late at night and being the diligent student that I am I'm busily working away on my final. I'm in the room with the dangle bar in the doorway and my cell phone starts to ring. I remember it is in the study so I quickly finish my sentence and leap up to answer what I assume is my husbands call. Being the dedicated and devoted wife that I am, I sprint out of the room to answer his call and WHAM right into the *#&@(#&*@ dangle bar!!! Which I stupidly set at about nose height!!! I am knocked backward onto the floor from the force! My nose has taken the brunt of the force, and it's not pretty!
I didn't go to the doctor but I'm fairly confident my nose is hairline fractured at the very least! It hurts ALL the time, is red and swollen, and while I don't have black eyes they do look a little funny. I tried to cover up the red line that I now have imprinted across my nose with make up but dabbing at my nose with make up was just too painful. It has prompted people at work to ask if something happened to my nose. Unfortunately, P is out of town so I can't just say he decked me :) which is really probably better (and more believable) then my idiotic tale. My boss was so befuddled by the whole thing he kept asking... 'but WHY did you think the pull up bar would be a good idea?' Excellent question. Sadly, I don't have a good answer.
6 comments:
Oh, Melanie, I feel so bad because I know you're in pain, but I laughed SO HARD over that story! You poor thing!
oh no! i think it's time to put the pull up bar on craigslist and get a treadmill instead.
I told Bernie I wanted a pull-up bar and I'm sure he will want to thank you for changing my mind. Would you like to road test all my potential purchases for me? Buy a pair of those FitFlop sandals and let me know if they really do help tone your legs just by walking around in them.
Disclaimer: I incur no responsibility if you roll an ankle or get your toes smashed while wearing said FitFlops.
this sounds serious... i'm glad you didn't fly over the railing and down the stairs, though!
your french idea reminds me of this phase i went through in high school when i changed my clocks two hours ahead to convince myself to get up earlier and make better use of my time because i would think i had less time than i actually did.
OMG melanie!! please tell me you took that pull up bar down. hope you are feeling better!
I'm so sorry about your injury, but your faithful readers must see a picture to get the full effect. so, picture please...
Post a Comment